mardi, mars 22, 2005

Sam and Abortion

Sam was brought to the vet to be spayed, a few days after her kittens were sent to SPCA. After what I had to do to all my mischievous dears, that lead me to a minor emotion whirlpool, and after the permission from dad, all of us think that it is best to neuter Sam. At the clinic, I was being questioned by the doctor if she's already on heat and was she still feeding her kittens. I couldn't actually answer her first question as the sign of her on heat wasn't visible. I mean she was all gatal before her first pregnancy, rubbing her body against our feet and stuff but I guess I was too busy to notice the change as my life was slightly preoccupied with exams and some other issues. Since she has to 'fast' before any operation can take place, we left her at the vet.

I was delivered with a shocking news when I came to pick her up this evening: Sam was 2 1/2 weeks pregnant! And I was... speechless.

For the first time in my life, I got the chance to see the embryo of the unborn kitten. The doc took a picture of the operation to show me that Sam was actually pregnant and not in the condition that I thought she was in.

In the picture, I saw 4 yellow, ping pong ball-like sacs, a proof that Sam was carrying 4 unborn kittens. The size is like the Cadbury chocolate in the tin container. Suddenly I was rushed with guilt. I have aborted 4 lives. Though I know it's not my fault not to notice anything but in a way I feel guilty and... bad.

A few minutes later the assistant brought out a plastic bag. I saw a little blood and I knew it was Sam's but there's more than that. I saw balls.

"What are those?"

"Those are the things you saw in the picture."

"You mean... those are the..."


I stared at the small bag.

Those things inside the bag were going to be four cute kittens had I chosen to delay the spaying.

Four cute kittens...

Just like Boo Boo, Belle, Bush and Cicak...

I feel bad...

How would they look like if................

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