mardi, novembre 25, 2003

Hari ni kene kaw kaw punya. Every single word is like a bullet hitting every part of me, ruining my mood. And the first day of raya didn�t seem to bring any significant meaning. I wished I could just leave and continue with my sleep. And now, to me, nothing is everything. There was a time when I really want to make that call and put an end to EVERYTHING so that I won�t be reminded with the same thing and it won�t be the topic they touch. See how peoples� point of view can give me some impact, one way or another.

Fuck, my stomach is upset. Please God, don�t make me puke�

What if I just shoot him with my decision? Will he go ballistic? Or will he take it coolly? Will he suffer or will he continue with his life as if nothing actually happened? There are a lot of possibilities but I seriously can�t aim the exact target. I don�t know how far has he gotten himself into. Knee deep? Ankle deep?

I missed the good ol� days. I missed myself. I missed my dreadful moments. I missed The Thoughts. I missed everything I had before. It feels weird, really weird. I want to put on hold stuffs that I�m having now without any suspicion. I know this will arise. Nobody is cool about it� unless you are the coolest human on earth. But still����.

The end is the beginning is the end�

P/s: Selamat Hari Raya kepada kaum muslimin dan muslimat. Maaf zahir dan batin�

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